You’re not alone in being alone

Among the countless possible disheartening events and occurrences sits the deafening silence of lonesomeness. 

Perhaps, I have the privilege of saying there’s nothing quite as frightening and horrendous as a silent car ride home, a midnight walk down a dark corridor and opening the door to a moderately large but empty house.

Could I be more blessed? I doubt it. I thank the heavens and God Almighty for giving me the strength and power to create such a beautiful and safe life for myself.

And I also ask the heavens and God Almighty why I am seated on my blue couch crying alone on a Friday night.

I don’t ask for more. I ask why. Just give me one reason. Make me understand what I need to learn by going through this seemingly perpetual state of being alone.

Maybe I’ll never have an answer. Maybe it’ll always be me for myself and maybe I’ll have to accept it without wondering why.

Funnily, I started this blog to rant about work — the same work that has been saving me every day by giving me something to do, to hunt, to desire, to want, to find purpose in.

These thoughts and emotions may sound trivial… but they’re huge to me. Grateful I am to have these as my biggest problems. And I don’t think I can ever wrap my mind around what others might be going through.

If you’re like me, sitting alone somewhere, please receive my thoughts and love, say hi in the comment section if you want, and just know that you’re not alone in being alone.

Thanks for reading and sitting with me through my feelings. ♡

P/s: Please forgive me for not doing a grammar check. I wrote from my heart… all that I said, I said unfiltered amid tears and I didn’t feel like thinking about literary rules.